You want a partner that will be your best friend for years and years.  That means you will need a lot of compatibility in your lifestyles.  What you “love” to do.  How you “work.”  Where do you “play.”  Love, work, play.  Are you and your partner similar in these areas?  Is there a passion in your life that just drives you?  Is your career, money management and responsibilities similar to your partner?  Are you an adventure junky while your partner is a couch potato?

 
Sometimes we can find our relationships in an “incubator.”  These are protected environments, free of real world challenges that expose our differences and similarities.  Incubators could include living in our parent’s house, a military base, maybe a college campus.  Incubators may mask hidden issues from your partner’s family background.  Since there is minimal interaction with others outside of your relationship, you may only be seeing your partner’s “best foot forward” during dating.  Incubators limit you seeing only one side of your partner’s personality, interests and how they respond under conflict.  Seeing how someone reacts or responds in on relationship with others present is different with another person.  Incubators keep us from sing both sides of our partners.
 
Long term, life-long commitments need to be tested first in a variety of situations, outside of an incubator environment.  It is easier to discuss, evaluate and change attitudes and behaviors during dating than after a marriage commitment.  Give yourselves time to learn about each other.
 
We can help, contact us at www.ListenTogether.com